Gee Oh

 I am very excited for the odyssey to come out. One of the most memorable books and challenging to read, the movie might bring me alive & that’s how I see life.

I’m always ready to enjoy my life the way I want to enjoy my life. Rushing and frolicking never knowing how to stay still because it’s always me. The God and the MC. 

I’d run to it, the feeling, each day, knowing what I’m getting out of it but it still goes away. Are moments life? My beating heart grows weary having to let go as I always chase joy.

My beating heart grows weary trying to insert and accentuate my ploy to enjoy. 

As I sit with these thoughts, trying to make sense of the past once again, I see a future so reckless and ruthless that will leave me nowhere but the spotlight. As the sun shines and the lessons come, I remain in joy enjoy.

Sometimes I give myself warnings, but for the most part, I’m spontaneous and do whatever my heart desires but the masculine void does require structure. As of 2025 September, I do not know what this means.

I hope I never know what structure means as it has only fallen when I’ve tried to build. I am still early life, and in the midst of my mistakes, I marinate my long lived life of pleasure. In pleasure for pleasure. What’s better? 

These stories only live through the pain of knowing you’ll never get something you want because you already have everything you need… not only to survive but to be. Do we love ourselves enough to be alone and let go of what keeps us in cages? How can we know if we ignore these stages? What helps us let it out? 

Anger.

What a sweet test even in the arena of my joy, I see its face always staring back at me; wanting me to throw a rage fit but I’d rather be a bitch. Something the demons hate but relate to because it’s the only truth they’ve known from home. How can one build when they’ve had no solid foundation from birth. How can one see what they refuse to desire. 

Today, as my desires grow so does my knowledge. Not of me, but of happiness and that’s what she will always choose.